Original image - How are you, love? - Honestly? Do you really want me to reply honestly to this question? - Sure! I wouldn't expect anything else from you but honesty! - I am breaking down, with every breath I take I feel like my insights are collapsing, I feel like every single cell of my body is imploding and I am suffocating. I cannot even fathom why is it so hard to be alive right now, but it is unbearable. I think I have lost my purpose, my meaning...I've forgotten why I am alive, why I came to this plane of existence, why I embodied in this person that I no longer recognize when I look in the mirror. I feel so small and useless and I don't even know what I am going to do with my life or if I really want to live anymore. Every day it gets more miserable than the one before because I feel my being being swallowed by this enormity of belittlement created by my own self. It really feels like drowning in the middle of the ocean. I have no life vest and there's no bo...
- When did you stop enjoying your life? - I think it was the very moment I have given up my self for others. But if I am honest, I believe I have never enjoyed life, really. I was never able to see the beauty or the meaning of it for myself. Although, paradoxically, I always had this sense of purpose; that I came here with a big purpose and it is overwhelming at times. Especially in those moments when I feel lost. I guess we all experience these kind of moments when it is hard to distinguish between the reality and one's thoughts. I always dreamed big and most of the times my dreams ate me alife. They have squished me up, tore me apart. But what are we without these dreams, without the purpose? - So, if I understand correctly, you did not find a place in this world yet, right? - I guess not...I believe I didn't and probably I never will. But maybe the purpose is not to fit this world as it is, but to try and add to it our unique soul print. If you manage to do this, I think ...
- Have you ever put yourself in the shoes of the other person? To truly try to understand their pain. - Yes, oftentimes. - And what can you tell me about how it feels? - Oh, I could write a novel, my dear. I think is a gift that we, people who were so misunderstood during our lifetime, people who only wanted to express our truth without harming others, and with the sole desire to be understood, have. It is our life essence, it is like a light that comes from within; like you hold an entire sun within yourself. We have molded this capacity during times of intense suffering when we were ostracized by the simple fact that we don't agree with the 'normality' or the authority. We were condemned for being honest, for expressing the needs and desires we had, and for saying out loud what others did not dare to say before us. This, my dear, is a personal hell. You can simply feel it in your heart and in your body. It is like pieces of flash are falling down and...
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