Purpose.

 - When did you stop enjoying your life?

- I think it was the very moment I have given up my self for others. But if I am honest, I believe I have never enjoyed life, really. I was never able to see the beauty or the meaning of it for myself. Although, paradoxically, I always had this sense of purpose; that I came here with a big purpose and it is overwhelming at times. Especially in those moments when I feel lost. I guess we all experience these kind of moments when it is hard to distinguish between the reality and one's thoughts. I always dreamed big and most of the times my dreams ate me alife. They have squished me up, tore me apart. But what are we without these dreams, without the purpose? 

- So, if I understand correctly, you did not find a place in this world yet, right?

- I guess not...I believe I didn't and probably I never will. But maybe the purpose is not to fit this world as it is, but to try and add to it our unique soul print. If you manage to do this, I think you already won. So far...I didn't.

- There must be something that keeps you here still, though! Otherwise, you would have left long time ago...

- Yes, my fascination about the nature, the nature in itself and the nature of being, of human beings. This is what keeps me up at night. For someone who always felt misunderstood, a misfit...it always fascinated me how people get so much into their own minds that are able to take even the most genuine act as a personal offense. But besides this ugly facade...the beauty, the complexity, the rigor, the precision that nature exhibits...always give me chills. I am in awe, mesmerized...like a child that just discovered they could walk...I would love to know all the secrets and find all the meanings behind it. To fully engulf all this wisdom within myself. To see beyond and comprehend more.

- So what keeps you away from doing all these?

- I guess I enjoy letting myself down, letting myself caught in storms of thoughts that keep me away from enjoying the life I was given. Don't you?